Why I Would Never Be Friends With My First Time Mom Self

There is something undeniably extraordinary about the first-time mom.

She is radiant, glowing with happiness and overjoyed and overwhelmed by the beautiful new life she has created. There is also something inherently annoying about her. Actually, a few things. I know. I was her. And I would never be friends with her.

She was hyper-focused and over-informed

A first pregnancy allows for that. She had all of the time in the world to attend labor and delivery classes, how to care for newborn classes, breastfeeding classes that had one, two and three parts, prenatal yoga, and anything else the universe had to offer. She entered new mom hood thinking she knew it all. She didn’t know she had everything left to learn.

She was psycho about schedule

There was a feeding schedule. There was a sleeping schedule. The schedule ruled and was ridged. She couldn’t see that structure is healthy and gives a feeling of purpose but being flexible keeps the days manageable and the mind positive.

She wanted to over- share her birth story

I would have told her nobody wants to hear it.

She thought the world revolved around her and her baby

To be fair, to her it did. With no career to concern herself with, and no other children to consider, she spent every waking moment of the day, and night, thinking about herself, and her baby. I might have reminded her to give her husband a hug and take the dogs for a walk.

She refused all help

There is a difference between wanting to experience and enjoy all that new mom hood has to offer, and not wanting help for fear of not being in control or appearing weak. If she were less stubborn, she would have taken her MIL up on the hour nap she was offered.

Her way was the best way

The decisions she so carefully made were the right ones for her. This is different than these decisions being right. It is sometimes hard to distinguish between the two. She may have been enlightened, had she opened her mind a little more and judged a little less.

My first-time mom self was pretty tough to take, but she was without a doubt well-meaning. In many ways, it is a blessing that first time moms have babies that grow and careers to go back to. Many of them turn into second time moms, who, although they may have only done it once before, have the knowledge of a thousand mothers, and more friends than they know what to do with.